So this week has been filled with a lot of finding work. A lot of finding work. Lots of ups and downs, but so is life, right?<\/div>\n
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Really, this week has been more of a self-reflection week for me. \u00a0Not intentionally. \u00a0A mission really makes you realize a lot about yourself really quickly. So here’s the reflection. \u00a0A little heart and soul. \u00a0Less stories today, mi scusi.<\/div>\n
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1) I am a stubborn person. Aren’t we all though? \u00a0Especially the people we meet here – they are stubborn!<\/div>\n
2) I give my heart, but it scares me. \u00a0It scares me a lot. \u00a0We meet these people, and I bear my soul to them. \u00a0I tell them everything that is most dear to me. \u00a0And I try to pray with them, but instead they sit there and laugh at us while we’re praying. \u00a0And since I give my heart, it hurts when it breaks. \u00a0But if I don’t give my whole heart to them, there is less of a chance that they will accept it. \u00a0I\u00a0have<\/i>\u00a0to give my heart to them.<\/div>\n
3) I blame myself to avoid conflict. I’ll leave it at that. But I gotta stop doing this, I know. Sometimes it’s just easier.<\/div>\n
4) I can sit here all day and testify about the Atonement, but who am I to not access it myself? \u00a0Who am I to not believe that my weaknesses can become strengths? The Atonement is such a deep concept that none of us can ever completely understand, but we have to access it every day.<\/div>\n
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This week all of our new\/old (except one) investigators dropped us. \u00a0I had fallen in love with them. \u00a0And this beautiful Italian woman, who is 27, and was so interested, just doesn’t have time to worry about this right now. The setting of it was quite… picturesque. \u00a0It started raining, and the sky got gray and dark, and the wind was blowing. Just imagine it. She said – “It’s not my time right now. \u00a0I work all day. I’m too exhausted to make these kind of commitments.”<\/div>\n
And it’s all we can say that – these commitments will make your burdens seem lighter! We promise. \u00a0Christ will help you feel light. It can only bless your life. \u00a0And then she says, no I don’t think you understand me, no ti capisci, I won’t meet with you anymore. Ah. Mamma mia, it hurts.<\/div>\n
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We are working with some members and less-actives in the church as well, and that is a rewarding work. \u00a0We are seeing hearts change. \u00a0It’s taken three months to make the smallest influence with this woman in our ward, but we’re almost there. \u00a0She is beginning to understand faith on a deeper level. \u00a0Almost \ud83d\ude42<\/div>\n
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I came to Italy just wanting to touch people’s lives, in some small way. \u00a0In some small way, I want them to feel God’s love.<\/div>\n
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I know, I know, I know without any doubt that\u00a0this is God’s church. \u00a0<\/i>This is His work. \u00a0 Although we are tracting day in and day out in the hot month of August, I know He is with me. \u00a0I know that He loves me, even if I can’t be the perfect missionary for Him. I can be me. \u00a0I can be me, the Emma who gets guilty over little things, who gives her whole heart to everyone even if they’ll break it, the Emma who laughs over the silliest things and when I get really excited I shake my hands really fast and jump up and down a little bit. \u00a0Oh, and of course I like to be dramatic about things. \u00a0It makes life more interesting, lets be honest \ud83d\ude42 I’m learning that as I be myself, that’s how Heavenly Father wants me to touch people.<\/div>\n
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I love, love, love getting to know Heavenly Father’s children here in Italy. \u00a0To hear the stories of the random people on the street, our investigators, our ward members who joined many years ago, the other missionaries, and everyone. \u00a0I feel this love for people as soon as they tell me their name. \u00a0We talk of God. \u00a0I get a little glimpse into their hearts and souls. \u00a0It’s beautiful. It’s unexplainable. It’s my favorite thing in the world.<\/div>\n
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On a funny note – this week we found this man from India in a park and we taught him the Restoration. \u00a0He was a little… sexist, to say the least. \u00a0He started going off about women being irrational and not thinking before they act. I almost lost it. Thank goodness for my amazing companion who was there to stop me after I said – Excuse me, but we are women… It was pretty funny. \u00a0He actually became a new investigator for the Anziani to teach as well, so we’ll see what happens!<\/div>\n
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I love you all! Thank you for reading my letter of random thoughts. \u00a0I love my mission every day. Words cannot express… I am beyond grateful to be able to serve right now at this time in my life. \u00a0I am happy \ud83d\ude42 So happy, because I know God is with us as we seek out the salvation of His children.<\/div>\n
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